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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Confirmed: Seeing other guys

We had lunch, and a conversation. It's pretty much confirmed, she has been going out with guys these past three weeks. She says that they are different guys, and had the cheek to ask me, "Are you happy that they are different guys?" I am happy that she is forthcoming about it, but she doesn't want to divulge details. When I invited her for gym she said that she will go by herself tonight.

I just have to be strong. Remember that once I had lived without her; now I have her. If I were to lose her, would I not be the me of old? I believe that in life there are no guarantees, but at least we try to make things work. If things fail because of inaction, then it's our fault. If things fail despite our action, then it's our shortcomings at fault. But to have failed after trying is better than not to have tried at all. I'm going to try to salvage it. I remember her saying that she hasn't bothered with which girl I have been going out with. Now it is her turn, and I have no say over the matter. This is not entirely true, I do not simply go for dates with girls. I tend to meet up with those that she knows, or knows of. This is some form of implicit consent. But that's an argument that is akin to pouring water on a duck's back. Let's just try to make things work, for now. On the other hand, if she did mean what she said, then I'm free to see other women as well. The question then becomes "Are you sure you are in a serious relationship?"

I wonder how wives of soldiers and sailors fared. Perhaps wives of big tycoons and international traders can explain how they patiently held the fort while their husbands went out and tried to bring the bread back home. What about the wives of fishermen who have to deal with their husbands constantly being at sea? Being married to a movie star might be glamourous, but what about when s/he is on site and shooting for weeks or months on end? It's trust and patience. It's a trust issue. We just have to make things work.


Today's lunch at McDonald's cost me RM14.60. She had the double cheeseburger "kecil" set. I had the chicken McNuggets "kecil" set.

Source: Taryn Cox's blog
I came across these golden nuggets of wisdom from Taryn Cox's blog. They were written in 1913 and are still relevant today.
Don’t forget to trust your wife in everything – in money matters; in her relations with other men . . . Trust her to the utmost and you will rarely find your trust misplaced. 
Dont try to regulate every detail of your wife’s life. Even a wife is an individual, and must be allowed some scope. – “Don’ts for Husbands and Wives, 1913″