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Saturday, 18 September 2010

One More Month

Earlier today, I had looked through my Facebook inbox. She had written yesterday: "I can't even see that you are in a relationship with me. You cannot be serious about trying to patch things up with me!" Today, I looked at her relationship and her status with me was missing. I messaged her that I couldn't see that she was in a relationship with me.

Today when I arrived at the workplace she looked at me and said, "I am serious. If we don't solve our problems within one month then we need to break up." I was flustered by my emotions. We were supposed to have a heart-to-heart conversation after she had returned from lunch with her eldest sister today. And suddenly, this. "Did you speak with your parents?" she asked me. "Yes," I said, "I told them that your talents are not in this line... we have to place some job advertisements soon." "Good," she said, "I've told my friend to help me look for a job." Her "best friend" is working in a human resource company (read: job agency). It sounded pretty final. She asked, "Did you say that I want to break up with you?" I replied, "No, I just said that it was your desire to try to work somewhere else. My dad wanted me to give you a raise so that you will stay." "Oh. How much?" "About RM200."

It was a serious conversation. She said, "You know that I have many guys chasing me. Even better looking than you and richer than you." I felt depressed. She continued, "If I don't think that you have solved our problems after one month then I don't want to waste my time. I want a break up." One month. I nodded lamely. "And what about my Taiwan trip expenses?" she asked. I told her, "Actually I had wanted to surprise you, but now it seems that it will be wasted." "Huh? What do you mean?" "I wanted to surprise you by seeing you in Taiwan. I have bought tickets." She looked at me angrily and said, "You are wasting money! If I go then we spend RM3,000/=. That's just for me without the shopping. But with you then it's RM3,000/= times two. How much was the tickets?" "About RM750, two ways." "Ha! It's almost the same price as mine. How come?" "How would I know."

Then she asked about when I would be going, about one or two days? I said yes, thereabouts. (Actually, I would be there from Monday afternoon onwards. And their return journey would be on Thursday night, arriving Friday morning.) She thought for a while. I imagined that it was about why I had suddenly gone to purchase the tickets. "So, you will be returning on the same flight as us?" "Yes," I confirmed. "Oh." It was my own money and I would spend it the way I like it. Right? Her next line: "So, you thought that if we broke up after one month then it would be wasted?" "Yes, something like that. You want to see the flight itinery?" She wanted to, but suddenly she became busy.

Her "best friend" the headhunter called. Bla bla bla.... Very interesting news was going on apparently. Her best friend's ex-boyfriend had some interesting news. My girlfriend asked the ex-boyfriend (his name sounds like "King Kong" without the "King") to give her a call so that they could have a nice chat. The call came, and then there were some questions about our relationship. "Oh, no.... it's a problem, sometimes couples have problems, hahaha.... You know la, ala... No, it's a family problem, who told you that we have a problem anyway?" I couldn't help but overhear her conversation, with her best friend's ex-boyfriend. Wah, now she was advertising to the world that she was potentially single again after being enveloped in a long term relationship with me! I waited for her to end her conversation so that we could visit the bank. Apparently her paycheque had not been credited to her account, or so she claimed. I waited for more than 20 minutes, and she was still on the phone. I stood up and walked to her desk. Then I stood beside the desk and looked at the screen: She was on Facebook. I waited, she kept clicking this and that. Wah! Very impressive usage skills. But then she looked at me and scowled. She typed out some words on the screen: "No spying or checking on me!" I looked at her and pointed to me hands. Then I shrugged. Then I pointed at her hands. Then I shrugged again. She scowled at me.  I couldn't wait any longer and left to the bank.

I came back from the bank and told her that her pay cheque had been credited to her account (based on the bank's records) since 2nd September 2010. She was astounded, and decided to check with her own bank. I told her that she should check with her own bank. So off she went in search of explanations. She stood up and walked out of the office. Having been fairly certain that she was away, I quickly turned off the CCTV and checked her computer. She was logged into Facebook. I checked her Application settings: "Authorised applications" included Zoosk and "Are you a great lover?" I sighed. Then I checked her privacy settings. The WORST PART OF THE DAY was discovering that she had prevented EVERYONE IN THE WORLD from seeing her relationships -- EVERYONE EXCEPT ME. This meant that she had wanted to hide her relationship status from her friends!!!! Bloody hell. She was definitely going "out there" to flaunt her singlehood again. All the while she wants me to dote on her, thinking that she is still faithful to me in declaring her status as my girlfriend. (It is no declaration at all because it cannot be seen by other people!)

I became depressed that she wanted to cut me out from her life. I felt that she wanted to tell the world that she ISN'T in a relationship. This would encourage all her guy friends to chase her and get closer to her. I'd also felt my doubts because she had not sincerely wanted me to join the Taiwan trip. I think that there will be single guys at the Taiwan trip and she does not want me to meet them!

She returned from her bank, and we had a quick snack downstairs. During our tea session, she told me that she hadn't told me about the other guys just to make me upset or jealous, but because she wanted me to know that she really has guys chasing after her and ardently pursuing her affections. She chose me and not them, and she is still my girlfriend -- for now. She asked me to treat her the best that I can so that she can see that we have a future together. We spoke of many things, but one of the things I remember her mentioning is the tiles and the kitchen cabinet in the condominium that I am purchasing. I told her that I would try to get things fixed up, but not now, because of financial constraints. But once the cash is with me, then I will definitely do it. She looked at me and said, if I want to employ her on a part-time basis in the future, if we are still together, she would not mind coming in. But I must pay her! I agreed and nodded my head. I hoped that by those words she could see that we would still be together.

We came back to the workplace. It was nearly time for her to leave -- almost 5pm. She took a piss and I waited. She asked me if I was feeling sad. I said yes. We kissed. Then we hugged for a long while. She reassured me that she still wanted to be with me. Her eldest sister had told her several times that I am a good guy, and there's nothing wrong with me. It's just that my parents have strong personalities and she (the eldest sister) does not want my girlfriend to go through life feeling dominated.

We agreed to meet at the office tomorrow as there is a function tomorrow afternoon in Puchong. It is only a few more hours to Saturday morning. As I write this, I feel hopeful that the relationship will work because she has mentioned the other guys only as a way of putting things in perspective. She wanted to let me know that she still "had it". I know, and I wouldn't be surprised that there were guys trying to get to know her every other day. I feel hopeful that she still cares about my emotions, despite her tempestuous tantrums sometimes (she deleted three of my old friends from my Facebook account because they had added my ex-girlfriend on their contact list).

It was noted by the BBC that a recent report shows that falling in love will usually cause you to lose your close friends -- usually two. (Source: BBC, 15th September 2010. Falling in love costs you friends. And there is a related article from TIME.) Sigh!