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Saturday, 29 November 2014

Of Oral Sex, Tongue/Throat Cancer and Happy Endings

Dear Reader,

Recently my wife said that in her online "mummies group" there was a question about oral sex. Someone asked whether the members of the group gave oral sex to their husbands. There was one comment after another, ranging from the bashful and coy to the knowing and nudge-nudge-wink variety. Then there was an equivalent of a pail of cold water when one mummy said something to the effect of, "Hi everyone, I research this topic at the doctorate level and I can tell you that oral sex causes throat cancer."

My wife was stunned to read that, and she asked me about it. Naturally, I'm no doctor, so I dare not make any comments that verge on professing my expertise in throat cancer and its link to oral sex. However I did mention to her that as far as I know, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones' husband, suffered from throat cancer, and the entertainment websites said that it was caused by oral sex.

Now that I'm back in the safety of my room, I have had the chance to look at the issue again. Well, as it turns out:
  1. The couple had been through some trouble before his admission about having throat cancer;
  2. Michael Douglas admitted that his stage-four throat cancer was caused by the HPV virus (humanpapillo virus) [The Guardian, 2 June 2013; The Guardian, 2 June 2013];
  3. Michael did not mention that the HPV virus was caused before he met Catherine, which caused the marriage to deteriorate "downhill from there" [Source: The Sun, 29 August 2013; The Mirror, 29 August 2013];
  4. In mid-2013 the couple decided to separate, as a spokesperson said: "taking some time apart to evaluate and work on their marriage" [Source: The Sun, 29 August 2013];
  5. The "throat cancer" was, in fact, "tongue cancer" [Source: CNN, 15 October 2013; The Guardian, 10 October 2013];
  6. Michael underwent seven weeks of chemotherapy for cancer, which apparently cured his cancer [Source: Telegraph UK, 28 July 2014]; and
  7. In mid-2014, the couple reunited, reconciled and are living together again [Source: Telegraph UK, 28 July 2014].
The couple married in 2000. That marriage has seen some tough times, but it hasn't gone down yet. I'm glad for them.

For those of you engaging in oral sex, do think about the risks of developing tongue cancer.